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Always Wish For Something More
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| Moody |
| 09.18.04 (4:13 pm) [edit] |
It's pointless writing about what I want.
Something worthwhile, something lasting,
The things that always avoid me.
I want to be something to somebody.
I need to feel like I matter enough to care.
Be certain before you say something to me.
You know a lot, but not that much.
I hurt and I'm afraid.
Being broken beyond repair, that's my worst fear.
Did you have to think about that?
Don't feel sorry for me.
Maybe I'm exaggerating, but it doesn't feel like it.
I don't know what to think half the time.
But that's me, I guess.
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| My Downfall |
| 09.15.04 (6:05 pm) [edit] |
All I wanted was an answer when you said it was the end,
When you made me hurt and scream inside.
Would it have been so hard to say you'd gotten what you'd wanted,
That I just didn't have anything to offer?
I can't believe I'm still thinking about this.
But hey, I still dwell on things from three years ago.
You'd think I would just get over it.
Heartbreaks have shaped me,
Given the form you see before you.
"Isn't that sad?"
Here's the surprise: you don't care.
You never talked to me, just repeated.
"I'm sorry."
Oh, shit.
I just realized.
I am what I've spent years trying to prevent.
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| It's official. |
| 09.14.04 (6:11 pm) [edit] |
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I am a published poet.
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| Say it Now |
| 09.14.04 (6:09 pm) [edit] |
"Am I wasting my time?"
She says to herself.
She looks at him,
He looks at him.
"Is it worth it?"
It's hard to fight against
His touch,
The way he was.
She thought this was
All she wanted.
And she's cried,
Longing for him so.
"Is this really what I want?"
They tried to put it behind them.
It's always in the back of her mind.
"Will I ever forget it?"
He says she's beautiful.
She smiles,
Wonders what he's thinking.
Say it now.
Her heart is in his hand,
Her feelings laid bare.
"Did they change already?"
She wants to be the one he loves,
But will she love him?
Nothing is certain now.
"Can it ever be the same?"
He kisses her hand.
Tears fill her eyes.
She looks out the window.
This was what she wanted.
"Don't cry, don't cry. You're happy."
She turns back and kisses him.
"Was he telling the truth?"
There's something in the way he looks,
Eyes closed.
A question mark wrapped in an enigma.
Epitome of confusion.
"Can I handle this?"
She's leaving in a few months.
"Will he miss me?
"Will I miss him?"
She flashes back to times
When he seemed in love.
"I hope it's still the same."
He wanted something new.
"Did he get it?"
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| Let's Just Say His Name is John |
| 09.14.04 (6:03 pm) [edit] |
Do you have what I'm looking for,
Or are you just what I've seen over and over again?
I'd like to know,
Does it hurt like I hope it should,
And will we ever be the same way?
"My hand is here."
Do with this what you will.
It's still very hard for me.
"I'm sorry for the time I told you I changed my mind."
Those two pieces of news were horrible,
And after I heard the second one,
I sort of hoped your dog would die.
"I don't think we should talk again.
You never listened to me.
I don't think you ever really understood.
Maybe it's because I couldn't explain.
"Everyone could use another friend."
"I never thought I'd need any others."
You were my addiction,
My one,
My love.
"Do you miss me?"
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| Cause For a Cut |
| 09.14.04 (5:59 pm) [edit] |
"Build me an empire."
I'll never fight again.
Draw your heart out so I can know what to do.
You're such an artist.
There's secrets in your eyes.
The shadows can no longer hide them from me.
You were almost the cause for a cut.
I knew you were too good to be true.
"Were you expecting that from me?"
So many yous, so many things I'm over.
One touch was all it took.
I think I'm wasting my time.
After all, this no longer matters.
"Isn't that right?"
I'll take your word for it.
I guess I was being selfish.
I would run back in a second regardless of past experience.
Do I ever cross your mind?
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| It's Friiiiiday!! |
| 09.04.04 (12:42 am) [edit] |
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Hooray for the weekend! Right now I'm waiting for class to start back up after lunch, so I have a little bit of time to post stuff. I'm so happy right now!!! I actually don't have a lot of homework yet for the weekend (but that will all change next period. Oh, well.). And, I have more time to spend with Arturo tonight, which rocks so much!!! Arturo is my boyfriend, my awesome awesome boyfriend who rocks way hardcore!!! He is the coolest!!! He is just great. But anyway, yeah, the day is almost over! Woohoo! Well, class is about to start back up, so I'll talk some more later.
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